Story Details -

Dr. K's Corner: Preparing for the Winter Break Woes

12/13/2023

Believe it or not, winter break is almost here! While this is often a time people associate with joy and happiness, it can also bring along meltdowns, stress, conflict, and/or loneliness. Below are some considerations and tips to help you and your child(ren) prepare and grow from the highs and lows during this extended time off.

Maintain Routines

Routines and structure are often grounding, predictable, and comforting for children. While winter break can be a reprieve from everyday demands, it can be helpful to maintain some consistency, such as snack/meal times, bedtime routines, and even some special attention from you. Having activities, toys, books, games, etc. available at home or in your bag while traveling can also provide your child with appropriate and helpful options to occupy their time (instead of getting into mischief, whether on purpose or by accident).

Let Children Help

Children, especially elementary-aged children, often enjoy being helpers. The extra time at home and various work needing to get around the house can offer a productive outlet for children to tap into these skills. Providing opportunities for children to help set the table, cook or bake, tidy up around the house, wrap gifts, etc. further helps to channel their time and energy into something adaptive and productive (versus getting into mischief or trying to help, but doing it in an unhelpful way and not knowing the expectations of what that looks like ahead of time). While the end result might not be exactly what you envision, it’s the process that matters as it allows children to feel included and part of the process contributing to the festiveness and sense of community at home.

Types of Gifts

Receiving gifts is often a highlight of the celebrations during this time of year, however there’s opportunity for more when it comes to gifts. For instance, giving gifts can be just as rewarding as receiving them. It can be helpful to review with your children what a gift might look like, as it can range from offering help to someone else (e.g., cleaning up without being asked to) to creating or helping you pick out something to give to someone else. Taking time to create gifts or cards offers children an opportunity to practice gratitude and share special messages with others.

Moreover, the more memorable and special gifts you give to your children likely won’t be the material ones. Dedicating time to be with your children, whether it’s reading, playing games or with their toys, or decorating cookies, leaves a powerful lasting impression (even if they don’t explicitly communicate that to you!).

Remember They Are Kids

Some holiday traditions and expectations depend on children being on their best behavior (e.g., lengthy services, holiday parties with familiar or unfamiliar guests, and different foods to eat with no simple or preferred alternatives). Along these lines, it’s important to manage your expectations--what you expect of yourself during the break, whether it’s while you’re around the house or at a social gathering, does not extend to children. For instance, it would be fantastic and impressive if children could sit at a meal and try new foods, however they’re probably not going to want to sit longer than 30 minutes and will likely need some adult coaching to try an unfamiliar dish. On the flip side, it’s helpful to appreciate that children will find joy and fun in other things, such as running around outside or hanging out with other children.

In addition, while we might assume children remember or know what is expected of them, it can be helpful to calmly review expectations ahead of time before going to gatherings, services, parties, etc. Focusing on around three desired behaviors--such as sitting quietly (it’s okay if they need to fidget or wiggle!), being flexible to try new things or participate in a less preferred activity, and that it’s okay to ask for help or take a break--primes children to be even more ready for the setting they’re about to enter and explicitly let them know that these are things you’ll be paying attention to as well. It will be important to follow up with children after events and gatherings to let them know what you noticed and were proud of. Yes, mistakes or hiccups still might’ve happened, too--we’re all human after all!

Recognize Holiday Blues

While winter break and the holidays can often be associated with joy, it is important to recognize that this isn’t always the case for everyone. For some, this season or the period right after the holidays can feel lonely and sad (or anything else other than joy). This can happen for a variety of reasons, ranging from family dynamics changing or increased tension at home to an emotional crash happening after the high from the holidays. Regardless of the reason, it’s important to be mindful of this in order to respect the experience of others, or yourself, if it doesn’t necessarily align with what others are saying or doing around you.

Encourage an Attitude of Gratitude

The holiday season fosters this already, however, when done with intention, practicing gratitude can be even more powerful and helpful. Expressing gratitude can be done by writing letters or drawing pictures to give to others. Encouraging children to think of people who help them at home, school, and/or the community is another avenue where they can identify and express their thanks. Similarly, helping children recognize that not everyone has the same experiences during the break helps foster their compassion for others and gratitude for the big and small things they get to do. An intentional gratitude practice can become part of the dinner or bedtime routine where everyone who’s present shares three things they are grateful for.

Importantly, please, please, please be kind to yourself. The “perfect” break or holiday season does not exist because, simply, we’re human--the unexpected will arise, mistakes will happen, and comfortable as well as uncomfortable feelings will arise.

For additional ideas and resources, check out the links below:

Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Share to LinkedIn Share to Pinterest Share to Email Print this page